Archive for the ‘ TV ’ Category

if any of the following happen during the LOST finale

Admittedly, I have been a staunch and stubborn holdout on the TV series LOST. I’ve watched some episodes here and there over the years but just never got into it enough to invest my life (as many have done) in uncovering the mysteries of this J.J. Abram’s mind-twist. I’ve been given a fair amount of grief for this, but I’m a stronger person for it.

That said, with the series finale of LOST approaching Sunday night on May 23rd, I’m willing to offer an ultimatum for all my LOST-loving friends out there.¬† I will immediately go to Amazon and order every season DVD and watch them all in one consecutive brain-numbing couch-flying LOST-loving session if any of the following happen during the LOST finale:

  • A young Anakin Skywalker makes an appearance.
  • A New York City utility worker climbs out of the “hatch” and says, “Welp, all finished down there.”
  • Any Muppet from Sesame Street is given speaking lines.
  • Ty Pennington from Extreme Home Makeover builds a magnificent beachfront house for all the castaways using wreckage from the plane. “Bus-driver, move that bus!”
  • Conan O’Brien rides a polar bear (with or without a saddle).
  • A volcano on the island erupts halting ¬†world air traffic for a week.
  • The “smoke monster” is revealed to be Larry King’s lingering sneeze.
  • The show’s grand conclusion is that the entire series was a missing chapter from Sarah Palin’s autobiography.

I’m anxious to hear what happens!

why i (still) don’t watch lost

There are readers of this blog who will get very angry and/or disappointed over what I am about to write. And for that I apologize.

I do not watch Lost.

I was invited to attend a Lost party tonight – I probably won’t be invited back. Frankly, I wasn’t intrigued.

It’s not that I don’t get it or I don’t understand what’s going on, and therefore am completely lost. I know about the Others. I know about the hatch. I know about the polar bears, and the button, DHARMA, and the freighter, and that some get off the island and some don’t. I’ve seen enough bits and pieces over the last few seasons to understand the gist of the whole thing.

It’s not that the story isn’t visionary. Obviously these writers are extremely talented and pay incredibly close attention to minute details. And the production is stellar… they go to great lengths to make each episode top class.

I find the whole thing incredibly ridiculous, over the top, and not very captivating. I don’t care that it’s science fiction – I could get on board with that. It’s just one little mystery after the other, and every little twist and turn is supposed to get you all worked up into this silly frenzy, and you know what? I just think it’s so predictable. The story line has been worked over so many times to include every possible twist and turn that I’m really not surprised when anything happens.

Of course Michael can’t die when he slams his car into a dumpster going 80 miles an hour. Yes I knew that was a suicide note he pinned to his shirt and knew that he was going to try to kill himself.

Then there are all these debates about “is it a flash forward?” or “is it a flashback?” And these over the top suspenseful moments where they show some inanimate object – a crate, a box, a boat – what’s inside inanimate object? I don’t know, go to commercial.

And then there’s the over acting and weak dialog. You’re such a maverick Sawyer… I can tell by your glassy stare and consistent 5:00 shadow. Oh wait, I’m sorry, you don’t age anymore so you can’t grow a beard.

I really wanted to be intrigued tonight to go back and watch the first three seasons on DVD and catch myself up, but I was not. Sorry, it’s just not my thing. Sorry if that makes me a simple, uneducated, completely not culturally relevant, totally un-hipster, completely un-cool person that just doesn’t get it.

Now, invariably, there will be some follow-up comments here telling me what a fool I am and vast generalizations will be made about “you people” who watch 24, who just can’t comprehend the magnificent artistic masterpiece that is Lost. That’s fine, go ahead, have your fun. Note how said comments will be viciously personal, directed at the shallowness of my character because I am not willing to succumb myself to this culturally epic show that “everyone” watches. They really don’t phase me… I’m just not that interested.

24: The Unaired 1994 Pilot

Sorry I’m full of a bunch of brainless posts this week… here’s another one. Since Fox won’t be giving us another season of 24 for a while, this will need to tide us over… “The Unaired 1994 Pilot” for the series. Thanks to my brother, Josh, for sending this one to me.

the sugar!

I’ve been looking for this video for the longest time. This is a clip from stand-up comic Lavell Crawford, performing in the finals for Last Comic Standing Season 5. He had a lot of funny moments during the season, but this is one of my (and Steph’s) favorites… especially the very end:

random monday update

I’m just going to tell you right now this will be a boring post. If you want to be really bored, keep on reading:

I go to San Francisco this week for a sales meeting with a fruit company. That should be interesting.

Gotta give props to Flash for the great recommendation on the band Stateless… really liking this self-titled album. It’s an interesting blend of Brit-rock, electronic trip-hop, and ambient soundscapes. There are elements of Radiohead, Massive Attack, and a hint of Sigur Ros throughout… all good influences.

While I’m talking about Flash, head on over to his blog to answer his question of the week about embryonic stem cell research. I don’t know what my answer is yet.

Twitter is interesting. I find this strange compulsion to broadcast my rageful inner thoughts on the thing, and somehow at the last second find the willpower to not press ‘send’.

I’ve heard of people having internet addictions. I wonder if I’m coming down with one.

Prison Break is over for this season. I really thought they were going to end it this time around, but looks like we will have another season. I like the show a lot, though the beginning of this their third season was a little far fetched. Oh well, just a TV show right?

Something walloped our house in the middle of the night two nights ago. Like really hard… I thought there would be a dent in the side of the house. There wasn’t.

George Bush Sr. “endorses John McCain” today. Goodie.

I agree with Tim that the Knight Rider movie Sunday night was an absolute travesty. I gotta admit that I was really looking forward to it, and also gotta admit that I couldn’t stand more than about 8 minutes of that horrendous show.

Tim also says piano playing is for stupid heads… yeah, I’m just gonna let that one sit.