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Admittedly, I have been a staunch and stubborn holdout on the TV series LOST. I’ve watched some episodes here and there over the years but just never got into it enough to invest my life (as many have done) in uncovering the mysteries of this J.J. Abram’s mind-twist. I’ve been given a fair amount of grief for this, but I’m a stronger person for it.

That said, with the series finale of LOST approaching Sunday night on May 23rd, I’m willing to offer an ultimatum for all my LOST-loving friends out there.  I will immediately go to Amazon and order every season DVD and watch them all in one consecutive brain-numbing couch-flying LOST-loving session if any of the following happen during the LOST finale:

A young Anakin Skywalker makes an appearance.

A New York City utility worker climbs out of the “hatch” and says, “Welp, all finished down there.”

Any Muppet from Sesame Street is given speaking lines.

Ty Pennington from Extreme Home Makeover builds a magnificent beachfront house for all the castaways using wreckage from the plane. “Bus-driver, move that bus!”

Conan O’Brien rides a polar bear (with or without a saddle).

A volcano on the island erupts halting  world air traffic for a week.

The “smoke monster” is revealed to be Larry King’s lingering sneeze.

The show’s grand conclusion is that the entire series was a missing chapter from Sarah Palin’s autobiography.

I’m anxious to hear what happens!