why i (still) don’t watch lost

There are readers of this blog who will get very angry and/or disappointed over what I am about to write. And for that I apologize.

I do not watch Lost.

I was invited to attend a Lost party tonight – I probably won’t be invited back. Frankly, I wasn’t intrigued.

It’s not that I don’t get it or I don’t understand what’s going on, and therefore am completely lost. I know about the Others. I know about the hatch. I know about the polar bears, and the button, DHARMA, and the freighter, and that some get off the island and some don’t. I’ve seen enough bits and pieces over the last few seasons to understand the gist of the whole thing.

It’s not that the story isn’t visionary. Obviously these writers are extremely talented and pay incredibly close attention to minute details. And the production is stellar… they go to great lengths to make each episode top class.

I find the whole thing incredibly ridiculous, over the top, and not very captivating. I don’t care that it’s science fiction – I could get on board with that. It’s just one little mystery after the other, and every little twist and turn is supposed to get you all worked up into this silly frenzy, and you know what? I just think it’s so predictable. The story line has been worked over so many times to include every possible twist and turn that I’m really not surprised when anything happens.

Of course Michael can’t die when he slams his car into a dumpster going 80 miles an hour. Yes I knew that was a suicide note he pinned to his shirt and knew that he was going to try to kill himself.

Then there are all these debates about “is it a flash forward?” or “is it a flashback?” And these over the top suspenseful moments where they show some inanimate object – a crate, a box, a boat – what’s inside inanimate object? I don’t know, go to commercial.

And then there’s the over acting and weak dialog. You’re such a maverick Sawyer… I can tell by your glassy stare and consistent 5:00 shadow. Oh wait, I’m sorry, you don’t age anymore so you can’t grow a beard.

I really wanted to be intrigued tonight to go back and watch the first three seasons on DVD and catch myself up, but I was not. Sorry, it’s just not my thing. Sorry if that makes me a simple, uneducated, completely not culturally relevant, totally un-hipster, completely un-cool person that just doesn’t get it.

Now, invariably, there will be some follow-up comments here telling me what a fool I am and vast generalizations will be made about “you people” who watch 24, who just can’t comprehend the magnificent artistic masterpiece that is Lost. That’s fine, go ahead, have your fun. Note how said comments will be viciously personal, directed at the shallowness of my character because I am not willing to succumb myself to this culturally epic show that “everyone” watches. They really don’t phase me… I’m just not that interested.

    • Jeremy
    • March 21st, 2008

    You realize we can’t be friends anymore…

    • jalash
    • March 21st, 2008

    Don’t worry Burns…I’ll stand with you. I am just not intrigued at all with Lost. I don’t know what it is, but it doesn’t really excite me at all. I agree with all of your points. I think it is predictable (then again, what show isn’t? Very few at best.).

    I’ve never watched 24, not that I have anything against it. I was watching The Unit for a while and really enjoyed that. I think it is the psychological stuff that really fascinates me. NCIS isn’t bad either. Anyhow…I applaud your efforts to stand against the crowd.

    • jon arnold
    • March 22nd, 2008

    Uh, seriously? I submit 24 is worse than Lost.

    Top quote from IMDB:

    Nina Myers: Jack, if you kill me, you won’t know who I work for. You think I work for Drazen, but I don’t!
    Jack Bauer: I trusted you, Nina…
    Nina Myers: I was just doing my job.
    Jack Bauer: Your job? My wife and daughter almost died today! How many people that trusted you lost their life today because you were doing your job? Walsh, or Jamey? Ellis? How many others?
    Nina Myers: How many people died because of you, Jack?

    24 is EXACTLY the same as what you just described, if not more ridiculous and dumbed down. I’m sorry, but it’s true.

    Prove to me that 24 is smarter than physicist-confirmed time travel referentials and allusions to pretty much every great piece of science/fantasy/island literature ever crafted. Prove it.

    • burnshead
    • March 22nd, 2008

    @ jeremy: yeah… i figured that was coming.

    @ flash: thank you for the support

    @ jon arnold: thank you for providing the exact response i expected from you. and thanks for inviting us to the Lost party – we did have a good time, though will have to admit that the highlight was seeing KP in a couch pouch.

    • jlafave
    • March 23rd, 2008

    To tell you the truth there Matt. I am sooooo not disappointed in you! I applaud your ability to stay so true to reality and not be swayed by the consent ebb and flow of an island steeped in mystery and the constant masquerading of it’s inhabitance.

    But I have to admit, I am a follower of the fictional show, Lost. More then not, I am in it to the end to see the end. My eyes have gazed and glazed over the stories flux far too long to give in.

    And I pause with this, movies and shows once reflected the life we lead and now, society dreams of nothing more then getting “Lost” in the alternate world of make-believe.

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