time it takes me to install a light fixture
6 Minutes: Fumbling around in the fuse box trying to figure out which breaker cuts power to the kitchen.
3 Minutes: Fumbling around in the dark because I flipped the wrong breaker.
10 Minutes: Digging through the closet looking for an extension cord to run a light to the kitchen so I can see what I’m working on.
5 Minutes: Emptying out the contents of the light fixture box onto the living room floor.
20 Minutes: Pulling down the old light fixture.
3 Minutes: Yelling at the old light fixture because it won’t come down.
2 Minutes: Yelling at myself because I cut the source wires too close to the junction box, thereby complicating the rest of my evening.
12 Minutes: Staring at the instructions trying to comprehend Figure B(1)-ii
1 Minute: Deciding I can do this without the instructions.
43 Minutes: Trying to wrestle the new fixture into place.
2 Minutes: Realizing I probably should have read the instructions.
5 Minutes: Stripping wires with a razor blade.
15 Minutes: Waiting for my finger to stop bleeding.
2 Minutes: “Oh, I have to drill a hole in the ceiling?”
7 Minutes: Waiting for my cordless drill to charge.
12 Minutes: “Steph? Can you help me for a minute?”
18 Minutes: Arms over head. More wrestling.
3 Minutes: Letting the blood rush back into my arms.
2 Minutes: Steph letting the blood rush back into her arms.
4 Minutes: “Were light-bulbs included in the box?”
