the unfortunate character assassination of tim

It would seem that the only way to get Tim to comment on my blog these days is to write a scathing post in attempts to destroy his character and bring him to ruin.

Tim is a terrible human being. For one, he used to hate me. Aside from that he never blogs anymore. In fact, three out of his three last posts have centered around the fact that he never blogs anymore. It took him four months to say this three times.

In addition to never blogging, he rarely comments on my posts, unless of course he’s hungry, and on the way to the refrigerator stops by his computer to burn a couple calories typing. The end goal of this has nothing to do with commenting on my blog, but rather to justify himself for the pizza and beer he is about to consume.

Tim is therefore an awful person, and as such, he is placed in an terrible predicament. He can only do one of two things…

  1. He can comment on my blog in a feeble attempt to argue that he is not awful, or
  2. He can choose not to comment on my blog, in which case he proves that he is an awful person.

The truth is that Tim wrote a post today, and I’d really like to comment on that post because I feel I have some valuable things to say to him… but the fact is, Tim wouldn’t read my reply… in truth he won’t turn on his computer for at least the next three weeks because he is so busy sitting in his sewing room knitting sweaters for Frisbee teams and putting iron-on patches on jerseys.

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